When one of my dearest friends from college, a self-proclaimed “environmentalist,” informed me that she was planning a green wedding, I had no clue what she was referring to.
I assumed that what she meant was that she was going to recycle the wedding gift paper, along with the beer and champagne bottles, the day after her festive event. However, over the course of her year long planning process, I was consistently inspired by the depth of committment for the planet that both her and her fiancé embodied. Their story, just like yours, began with the proposal.
After two, happy years together, Joe got down on bended knee and proposed to Becca with a recycled pendant made by a local jeweler. As I have since learned, due to the toxic nature of strip-mining, investing in new rings is simply not a viable option for the Earth. Fortunately, there are plenty of eco-friendly options out there for those of you who do not want to forgo the traditional wedding band. For example, greenKarat (greenKarat.com) uses post-consumer gold and silver to craft new designs by hand, while Touch Wood Rings (touchwoodrings.com) makes handcrafted wooden rings specifically for you that will “delight your fingers as well as your soul.”
High on the excitement of “Yes,” the excited couple got busy with the nitty-gritty, down-and-dirty of wedding planning. The couple knew that they wanted to celebrate their life marker with a late summer Hemlock ceremony and down-home, country reception on the 110-acre property that Joe’s family has resided on for a century and where they, along with Joe’s parents, currently live. (Joe’s sister and her family live across the street, and camping on the land was an accommodation option for the invited nature enthusiasts.)
In order to announce the big news, send out a “Save the Date,” and keep wedding guests informed of plans, activities, changes, and more, Becca and Joe created a blogspot (www.blogspot.com). Aside from being informational, it was fun to witness the couple’s march towards their destiny, - especially since I lived 3,000 miles away.
In lieu of gifts, the couple asked for contributions to be made towards the sustainable home they are building on the family homestead over the next two to three years. Although the lovely couple simply stated that “gifts were not essential,” they also politely posted the names and websites of two companies, one a local potter and the other a local (and sustainable) home furnishings store, for those who were so inclined to purchase something from a registry.
Their 100% potable invitations arrived via snail mail according to custom (three months in advance). Both the invitation and envelope were made of post-consumer waste and had North American Wildflower seeds encased in them. Again, the couple posted suggestions as to what to do with the invitations: “ If you don't want to plant them at home, feel free to bring your invitation to our wedding. We will have a nice area (near our future house) where you can plant them in our yard so Joe and I can watch our love bloom year after year!” You can follow this link for more tips on recycled, tree free invitations:
www.formal-invitations.com/recycled-treefree-paper.html.
Here is where the soon-to-be-married couple became ambitious: the dedicated gardeners vowed to grow all of the food for their own wedding! From the cold-hardy veggies of garlic, snap peas, spinach and onions, to the tomatoes, melons, squash, and leeks that require a large bed, the diligent couple literally spent the year leading up to their wedding “sowing the seeds of love.”
When summer arrived, Joe built both the natural altar where the lovebirds were to speak their eternal vows as well as the outdoor barbeque where the locally raised hens were to be skewered. The fruits and vegetables were harvested, and the week leading up to the big event was spent together in the kitchen, - preparing the food for a new, growing tribe. As the blog stated, everyone was not just welcomed but needed. For a bachelorette party, Becca gathered her girlfriends around her and together they all baked her wedding pies. (Since, according to Becca, “cake is overrated.”)
For the ceremony, Joe wore the Scottish kilt that he has kept in his closet for years while Becca invested in an organic cotton, white sundress. For the fashion forward, there are plenty of eco-friendly, designer wedding dresses abound. Look for natural fibers, such as silk, hemp, and even bamboo, to lighten your carbon footprint. Conscious Elegance (consciouselegance.com) and Thread Head Creations (threadheadcreations.com) both offer a wide selection of gowns (made in the UK). For more help searching for the dress that you have spent your life dreaming of, check out this “Crafting a Green World” blog: http://craftingagreenworld.com/2008/05/30/eco-bridal-diy-upcycle-or-handcraft-your-wedding-dress/.
For an event that is known for offsetting 14.5 tons of CO2, Becca and Joe’s simple yet thoughtful nuptials produced only ONE bag of trash. Although this is an extreme example of one highly motivated couple, you too can set goals for treading lightly on this planet, -the only home that we all truly share together. The key is to agree upon a “going green” value with your partner and then to discuss and brainstorm the unique ways that the two of you can do this together, such as:
• using one site for both your ceremony and reception;
• choosing an outdoor venue that does not need decorations;
• relying on local transportation and demanding (yes, demanding, after all you are the bride and this is expected of you, to some degree) that your guests carpool together;
• use only locally grown flowers;
• in lieu of gifts, have your guests make donations in your names to environmental or humanitarian organizations;
• hire an a cappella group that does not require amps or a blaring sound system;
• or make your own, individualized outfits.
What the current economic crisis, and other world events, are teaching us is that it is time to rethink and reinvent some of our time honored traditions. Forgot the fairy tales that you were told growing up and think about what you want. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: “What really makes me happy?” I think you will be hard pressed to discover visions of a $5,000 gown, a 6-tiered cake, and a 250-person party.
Rather, I believe that you will arrive at an answer that speaks of being surrounded by those you love, and those who love you.
After all, it isn’t a fantasy that you really want. It is a moment to breathe, to reconnect to life outside of the must do’s and gotta have’s, and to rediscover the connections that brought all of you together in the first place.
Own your wedding. Make it yours. Not Becca’s and Joe’s, or Cinderella’s, or Katie Holme’s. And, remember, it never serves anyone to compare your end results, - for there will always be weddings that were both better and worse than yours.
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